TodAY iS thE laSt DaY oF YeaR 2007...
mAnY thInGs hApPeNeD... BotH saD anD haPPy...
mAinLy... loSt 2 FRienDs... gAiN a FaMilY... SCREWLOOSE FAMILY!! =]
mY deaR iS nOt As cLOse tO mE aNymoRe... SaDDesT paRt oF mY lIfe...
aLthOugh boTh oF uS sTill wAnteD tO bE thE oNe iMpt iN eaCh othEr's LIfe... bUt sOMehoW... wE dRiFt fUrthER...
i cOUld oNLi sLap mYselF bEcoS eaCh TimE wE maNagE tO beComE clOseR... sOMethINg caUSed By Me wiLL HurT hEr... aNd tHe clOseNesS thAt wE maNGed tO bUilD... faLL aParT aGaIn...
hAIz...

pAst FeW daYs... i bEcoME teMperAmEntAl eaSilY...
thE MaiN reAsOn iS yoU... Onli yOu... aNgeLyNN tAn wEItiNg.... mY DeaR...
bEcoS whEn i'm cOnfiDenT eNouGH tO cHeeR u Up...
BuT i oNLi ReCeiVe sIaN faCe...aNd coLdnEsS...
tuRn HeaVy-HeaRteD... anD beComE "smilElesS"
aLL bEcOs oF u... mY LauGHtEr... mY CaRzYneSS tO maKe u LAuGh... mY sAdneSS.. iS aLL bEcOS oF u...
i CouLd oNLi sLAp mYSelF FOr huRtinG u... aNd dOn bOThEr mE aNymORe...
SoRRy... dOn lEaVe mE plS... =\
dOn Be So coLd tO mE anYmoRe...
bEcOS I'll Be VEry vEry saD...
hOw i wiSh i caN cOntiNue tO caLL u DeAr... serIOuSly
bUt evRythINg iS diFFereNT aLReaDy... =\
feLt sO hoPeleSS... jusT feLT sO haRd tO bEcoMe clOse aGaIn...
u asK mE nOt tO gIvE uP...
i"m noT giVinG uP...
buT iS juST sO haRd... hAiz...

LaTEr On iN thE AfterNOoN wE aRe gOInG tO hAvE steAmBoat...
WeEee... sUre BloAteD tO deAth rIGht BefoRe yr 2008 dE..... >.<
hoPefuLLy iT wiLL bE a fUn aND eVentfUl daY =]

Ho hO ho... MeRRy CHirStmaS...! =]
i haVe a GreAt nIghT YesTErdaY @ sEntOsA PaLawaN BeAch...
DriNk... DanCe... DruNk... tAlk... PlaY...

haIz... haVe aN uNoPEn GiFt FrM aNgelYnn... =\
alThoUght shE wAnt Me tO oPeN... bUt i reFuSed...
ReAsOn BeHinD iS thAt...BotH oF uS aRe NoT haPPy aT thE mOmeNt oF tiMe...
i"ll OpEn iT whEn i"m abLe tO chEeR u Up aGaIn...

BecOs... I'm NoT suRe oF aLot oF thIngs... thinGs taT u aRe UnaBle tO anS...
whEn i saY... 'i sTill FelT reDuaNdaNt iN uR liFe"... U diD noT ReplY nOr ResPoNd..
doEs iT meAnt siLenCe meAn cOnsEnT??
i nEeD aNs.... u KNoW thAt?!?!
BiTe mE iF u ArE anGrY aT mE... i dOn mINd...aT lEaSt i kNow tHat u wiLL boThEr abT mE...
u toTaLLy Don caRe DoN bOthEr dOn taLk maKe mE miSeraBle aNd sO HeaVy-HearTed...

iT iS haRd fOr mE tO cHeeR u Up...i KnoW thAt... =\
boOn dO iT bEttEr... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... .... ... ..... ..... ...... ...... ....... ........

~fORgeT iT~

iN ordEr tO sTOp mYseLF frM cRyiNG... I havE tO kEEp TeLLiNg mYseLF tO gO baCk tO thE eMOtiONlesS mE...

OpS.. i ThiNk i tOO loNg nV BloG liaO.. hEe... i ActuAllY reAd uP My blOG anD SeE whErE dO i BloG tiLL... =X

heE...
lEt tAlk abT 19th DeC diNnEr & nExT 2daYs eVeNts...
woRe a DresS... muSt aCt LaDy liKe... kiNDa noT usEd tO iT... buT maNAgE tO sURviVE tHe niGhT...
mY eX iS siMplY tOO buSy... i waS aLonE moST oF thE tiMe... hiaX...
nVm...
deN afTEr thE diNNer... mE anD mY eX anD hIS frIenD wenT tO a PuB anD dRinK...
heEe...
therE iS whEre i BReAk mY "pRomiSe"... iS iT "pRomiSe"??
BecOS i smOke agaIn... foR thAt niGht... >.< [~eFFoRt goNe~]
DeN reaCh hoMe aRounD 4aM... toTaL KO aFtEr tHAt...
nV baTh... i juSt chanGe iNTo hoMe cloThes, reMoVe maKE uP... anD "boMp" slEEp liAO... unTil 2pM thE nEXt daY... bUt GoT loTs oF diStuRbaNce wHilE slEEpiNg >.<

DeN tHE neXt daY... weNt oUt oN a miSSion... hEE...
To aCCompANy SOmeONe whO feLt wiErD wHeN aCComPanY AnoTHer oNE...
deN i dRaG anOthEr pERsOn wiTh mE tOO...
bUt bEfoRe mEEtinG thEM...
i aDmiT thAt i gOt anYhoW tHinK... thINkInG thAt thEY aRe lYinG tO mE oR whaTsOevEr de..
[ i mUSt lEaRn hoW tO trUSt thE oNe wHO i TrUSt thE mOSt ]
buT afTeR thAt... i thINk iS mYSelF tHinK tOO muCh liaO...
hEE...
wE waTCh alViN & cHIpmuNks tHe mOvIE...
iT iS FuNNy laH!!!
oH yA oh YA... bEfORe thAt hoR... i KeEp smACkinG aNGeL's FOrHEaD!! waHAhA...
anD... i waS sCaRe thAt shE wiLL piSSeD oFF whEn i'M smAckiNG hEr fORheaD.... =X
bUT oK laH... shE BITE mE... fORevEr dE lEh... hAIyo...
bUt fUn!!! =P
iT bEeN a LonG tiME siNce i hAVe fuN wiTh hEr likE thAt le... =]

ThE nExt daY... We mEet aGaIn... fOr lUNcH... We haVinG paStAmAinA @ CenTuRy Sq
bUt duE tO poOr diGesTioN... i vOmiTEd afTer thAt & a SligHT DiahOrreA... >.<
haiX...
kiNDa laZy To blOg FUrthEr mORe...
sO i ThiNk i stOP hEre baH... [yaWn]
buT 3 daYs iN a RoW haVinG fUn aLL thE waY laH... =]

toDaY sLePt tiLL afTerNooN 4+ deN waKe Up... shiOk aR~
haHa... sORt oF oVersLept coS i MEetinG mY eX... hE sAY hE waNNa pUrChAse ShiRt foR thE fuNctiOn diNNer... thE shIRt coSt $60!! oMg!~
deN i BOugHt a BrA... a pAir oF shoE whICh i thInk iT loOk cUte... >.<
deN yeSterdAy i BoUght a VesT... >.<
bUt mY frIenD alMosT waNNa kiLL mE yesTerdAY... fOr sHOppinG foR 2Hr juSt tO fiNd a VesT... i Had tO treAt thEm DriNKs tO claM thEm doWn... >.< hEee....
haIz... $$$ goNe agAin!! totAl oF $120 i thiNk foR yesTErdaY & toDaY... [fAiNT!!!]

i WaN mY tuMMy tO Be GoNe!!! >.<
bErY uGly whEn i wEaR thE veSt..! waNNa crY Le lAh... (T_T)
FurThEr moRe, HiGh eXpeNdiTuRe wEeK aRe coMinG... lOtS & lOts oF eVeNt aRe cOMing Up...
eVerYthINg almOsT pRepAreD bAh...
eXeCpt FoR a BikE...
i NEeD a BiKE!!! plS lenD Me a BikE!!! juSt foR a NighT onLi... plSplS (T_T)
haiZ...

i wiSh tO gEt siCk afTer All ThE evENt... hEee.... rEAl SiCk thAt tyPe...
anD i waNNa gO bAcK tO thE eMotiOnleSS mE...
nO aNgRy... No sAd... No fUsTraStiOn... No anYthIng...
eVerYthiNg iS jusT sO pAinFuL...

i Will StanD cONfiDeNTly whEn thE woRLd LoOK doWn oN mE
i WiLL tuRn mY bAcK aGaiNst AnYoNE whO TuRn thEir bAcK At mE
&
i WiLL TRuSt mYseLf whEn thE wORld doEs nOt TruSt me...
i LiVe foR mYSelF...
iS thAt cOrRect?? i jUSt felT sO reDunDAnt iN othEr's LiFe...

althOugh u teLL mE NoT tO thiNk thAt waY...
buT u JusT sAy "beSiDe aSkiNg U nOt tO thINk tAt waY... whAT elSe caN i Do?"
iT iS juSt siMplY nOt cONviNciNg aT aLL...
hoW u WaN mE tO stOp thInkiNg thaT waY??

* sLaP mYSeLf FoR beIng a SelFiSh PeRsOn*

i woNdEr... whEneVer i'M oFF tO woRk... wiLL u FeeL sAd aNd hOpe thAt i'LL stAy??
beCoS whEnEvEr i HearD thAt u waNNa fiNd a JoB... hoW i wiSh u WiLL stAy...
i sCaRe thAt wE wiLL noT hAVe mUch tiMe foR eaCh oThEr whEn BotH oF uS ArE wORkiNg...
buT i cANnOt dO thAt... coS i dOn haVe thE reAsOn tO sToP u...

* sLaP mYSeLf FoR beIng a SelFiSh PeRsOn*SlaP*

haiZ... AcTuAllY i dOn HavE thE mOtiVatIOn To woRk anYmorE... bUt i cAN't StOP woRkiNg... >.< siMplY moNeY nOt enOugH tO TahaN mY eXpanDeS fOr anOthEr Yr...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chIRsTmAS Is roUnd ThE coRnER!!
wiLL mY wiSh coMe trUe??
bUT whAt iS mY wiSh??
biKE?? [noPe... nOt nOw]
MonEY?? [NopE... i CaN wORk hArD foR iT]
bOyfrienD?? [naH... oUt oF mY Life!]
i tHinK... iS tO gEt baCk thE clOsEneSS thAT wE uSed tO hAvE...tO UndErsTanD anD cAn giVe mE a SenSe Of sEcuRe...
CaN i GeT thIs baCK hOW wE uSed tO bE...?
~prAy HArD~

4 MthS pAsSed afTeR i STarT bLoGGinG...
i woNdEr iS thERe anYonE whO i KnOW haS bEEn ReaDiNG mY bLoG..?
oR SoMEonE elSe whO i DoNNo iS ReADinG aLL thE wHilE..?
whAt WiLL haPPeNed iF soMeonE clOse tO mE foUnD oUt thAT i acTuAllY hAvE a BloG foR a LonG pErioD oF tiME anD yET i dId nOt teLL thEm...?
[doNNo, whEn iT haPpenEd... juST lEt iT haPPenEd baH]

yeA i aDmiT thAt aLL thE wHilE i feLt RedUndAnt In uR liFe...
soMetiME... i sAw u LoOkiNG aT thE othEr... AnD lauGH sEcReTly aT eaCh oThEr liKe thAt iS sOMethiNG thAT onLy boTh oF u KNoW buT nOt Me...
i jUst siMplY feLt sO reDunDanT...
bUt aLL tHe wHilE i haD bEEn tElliNg mYseLf nOt tO miNd sO muCh abT thAt...
pHAseS liKe... "i jUS waN u To bE hAppY" "lEaVe iF i wAn thE pErsoN tO bE haPPy" eTc iS alWaYs In mY miNd tO reMinD mYsElf NoT tO quArReL witH u aNymOre...
tO reMinD mYseLF thAt bY saYinG ouT wiLL onLy maKe tHinGs woRst...
i dOn waN u tO bE sAd, anGrY oR anYthiNg bAd haPPeneD tO u...
~~bEcOs mY pRomiSe oF tAkiNG cArE oF U... i"m sTiLL hoLdiNg oN...~~

wAh... FiNallY fIniSh CleAniNG uP mY poRtiOn Of thE hSe...
DeN oSo fiNisH BuilDinG a ArM gUArD fOr thE JuniOrs'S pRoJeCt...
KindA CraZy... BuT yEa... i sTiLL bUilT iT anYwAy...

LaSt WeEkenD Is A ToTaL fUn... MuhAhAh... hAvinG ChAleT aLL oVeR siNgApOrE... aND yEt eVEryONe liEd tO thIEr pAreNTs SaYinG thAt wE goT caMp =X
stARtiNg FrM FriDaY afTer ScH...
anGeL caMe tO mY hSe... tO pUt HeR laPtoP iN mY HSe anD shOweRed bEfoRe wE mEeT uP wiTh BoOn anD miNNie At cLemEti...
HahA... We ARe sLeePinG aT bOOn's shOp hSe whERe shE uSeD tO liVe iN...
buT hEr FaThEr'S seCreTaRy Did NOt LeaVe ThE hSe tiLL 12.30aM i ThiNk... [fAiNt]
sO wE aRe liKe dEteCtiVe lIKe tAt... KeEp LooKinG At THe HsE woNdeRiNG whAt tiMe sHe wiLL gO oFF aNd YeT aFraId tO gEt CauGht...
aFtEr tAt... We FinAllY WeNt IntO thE hSe... thErE goT aLot Of FisH!! LoLx
No beD... OnlY soFa... sO wE slEpT oN iT... hAhaH... mE aROunD 3.30aM liKe tAt caN't taHaN CuRliNg mYseLf Up... i EnDeD uP lYiNg On ThE fLooR aNd sLp... HahA
DeN sAt... whIcH iS thE NExt daY... wE wEnT foR arChEry trAinInG...

AfteR tRaiNinG... eVErYoNe wEnT tO mY hSe To pUt DowN thEiR stUff anD shOwEr...coS We gOT a NighT trAil hOstEd bY sCh... 9Pm tiLL 2Am
faINt... i thInk thE waTEr biLL DeFiNateLy sHoT uP hiGh thIS mTh... X_x
luCkY mY mUM wAs nOt aT hOmE whEn i BrOUghT mY fRiEnDs hOme... HEEhee
bUt suAy suAy wheN i"m briNginG mY fRiEnd tO eaT. thaT tiMe.. i saW mY mUm...
sO i TeLL hEr thAt My FriEnD aRE pUttiNg thEiR StUff iN my Hse... hEee... caN sEnsE thaT shE diSlikE thaT... hAhA...

thE nIght tRaiL SUX maN!!! iS mORe likE a NiGht HikinG lOR!!
evEryOnE eNDed uP muDDy, SwEAtY anD smEllY...
waSteD $15 foR thAt sTupiD eVenT...
aftEr thAt... DuE tO No PLacE fOR thEm tO sLp... sO... i BroUghT thEm tO mY hSe agAin lOr...
tO mY sURpRisE... My MuM haVEn sLp... siAn...
i ThiNK shE haS FreAk mY FriEnD oUt coS sHe DoES noT aLLow mY FriEnDs tO enTeR thE hSe Lah!! KNS... HAve To QuaRRel In FrOnT oF mY FriEnD a FeW tiMes...
haiZ... dOn thInK i"m a GoOD hOSt... coS evEryoNE sLp iN thE liViNG rOOm...hAhA...
sO thAt iS hOw wE spEnT 2 dAyS anD 2 NIgHt hAvinG FuN aLL thE WaY
lAstlY... i SeRioUSlY hopE u GuyS dOn miNd aBT mY mUm bEhaVioR... sOrrY abT thAt...


sAw U HolDinG oNTo oThEr"S haNd DuRiNG thE waLk reMinDed mE hoW clOSe wE uSeD tO bE...
kiNdA JeAloUS... BuT yeA... i mUSt lEaRn HoW tO iT lEt gO... bY holDinG oNtO oThEr"s HanD duRiNg thE nIGhT trAil... thOUgH i woNdEr wiLL U FeEl JeAloUS TOo??
lEt iT gO sO thAt mY hEaRT woN bE thAt pAin... anD i WoN hURt u anYmoRe...
leT iT gO sO thAt wE wON't DrIft fURthEr aPArt...
lET iT gO... ... ...

LoNg tiMe nV bLoG le... =X

hMmM... WeLL... i hAd AnOUnCEd tO thE woRld TaT i"m NoT gOiNg To PuRchAse BikE lE...
YeS...
i'M goIng To PosToNE mY WisH oF owNinG a BiKe... =\
sAd... BuT nO chOIce...
haiZ...
LeaRniNG bIKe oVEr le... GeT mY liCEnsE Le...
QuiT nIghT saFAri Le... WARY iS oVeR tOo...
mY 3 mTh HarDwoRk... whICh DraG foR 4 Mth aCtuAlly... iS fiNalLy OvEr...
evErytHinG cHanGeD wiThiN tHiS 4 MTh...
I'm liKe A PieCe Of BlaNk pApEr noW...
stArtinG evErythINg aLL oVer aGaiN...
BaCk tO mY... "paSSer-By oF thE oThEr'S liFe", a miNdseT thAt iS huRtFuL tO thE OthErS
bUt yeA... wE qUaRrel aGaiN...
hAiz.. SoRRy... i DiD giVe U mY eXplAinAtIOn lE... iS nOt tAt PpL dOn stAy iN mY hEaRT... iS mE wHo iS aFrAiD tO stAy iN OthEr'S liFe...
iS nOT thAT i wAnnA giVe u Up... cOs u sTanD a PlaCe dEEp doWn iN mY hEaRt....
wE aRe sTiLL fRiEnD... juST tAt iT iS noT thAt clOSe anYmoRe...
iT iS imPOssiBle To reTuRn liKe iN thE pAsT le... RiGHt? [i gUesS sO =\ ]

[ slAp mYsELf ]
sHiT...
whY Am i TaLkinG aBt thEsE aGaIn...?!?!
i'M noT suPPoSe tO taLK aBt theSe aGaIn iN oRdEr foR u tO bE haPPy...
[ slAp mYselF aGaIn ]

nOwAdAys... i FrOwn aLot... i dOn liKe iT...
i FelT thAt... i'Ve BeComE moRe anD mORe naRRow-miNdeD... mOrE anD moRe poSSeSSivE...
diSlikE mYselF alOt...
i hAvE tO lEaRn hoW tO gO eAsY witH sTuFF thAt wEnT WroNg iN thE daY...
i HaVe tO LeaRn hOW tO hiD mY FruStrAtioN & DePReSsiON...
i HavE tO fiNd baCk mY haPPy-Go-lUcKy MooD...
i hAvE tO fiNd baCk mY smiLe...
i hAvE tO... ... ... ...

YeSteRdaY haD a TOTALLY waSteD MorNinG...!
suPPOse tO waLk tO sCh foR aRCheRy trAinIng...
bUt thE moMenT i stEp oUt oF thE hSe... AlEx caLL tO reMinD mE oF lASt niGht thAt tOdaY thErE iS a BReAkFaSt GaTheRinG... sO.... haIZ... cAll miNNie anD teLL heR thAT i'll bE laTe...
dEn gO foR BReaKfaST gAthEriNg thOUgH i HaD mY bReAkFaSt aLreAdy... rEaCh thErE... thE RemAiniNg oNeS aRe laTe...
nVm... sO i WaiTeD foR 40Mins unTil aLL oF thEm haD reAchEd...
siT doWn thEre... NonE oF uS eaTinG bReaKfaST... JuSt tAlkInG abOUt BikeS...
sO i JusT Sit dOwN thEre anD liStEn... WaStiNg mY tiMe oNli... wAsTinG mY liFe oNLi
[ stiLL fEElinG Pek cHe oVEr thE dAy B4 QuaRRel wiTh mUm & ciXi abT thE bIke]

aFtEr aWhiLe... My bRo mSg mE... SaYiNg thAt hE bRinG mY tO mY uNclE sHOp tO loOK aT biKe...
mY fRieNd oVErheaRd mY coNverSaTioN aNd sAy taT thEy waNNa gO tOo...
sO mE & mY frIenD waiTed unDeR mY hSe voId DeCk foR mY bRo tO gEt reAdY...
UpOn reAchiNG mY unCle's BiKe sHoP... iT iS jusT sO haRd PleaSinG mY bRo anD mY fRienDs aT thE saMe tiMe... blOOdY hEll
mY fRienD --> tAlkInG abT hOw Ex thE biKe iS anD hOw It dOn sUit Me... i sO sCaRe My UnclE wiLL ovErhEaRd iT...
mY bRo --> GuAi lAn aTTiTuDE... thInkinG thAT hE iS thE kiNg likE taT... i sO sCAre mY fRienDs wiLL bE oFFenDeD...
thE fEElinG SUX k...!!
aLL thE biKe oVer thEre coSt moRe thAN $2000 oN thE roAd...
whY mY faMilY frEakiNG hEll juSt dOn lEt mE bUy oVeR alEx's bIke fOR $2000 ?!?!
bUt nVm... i hAd deCidEd NOT tO pUrChAsE anY BikE... tO sHUt evEryoNE up & tO enD mY miSerY...

FinALLy ReAchEd sCh... SeT uP mY boW... bY tAt tiMe iS abT 1.30Pm i tHinK...
dEn foUNd oUt thAT thE tRaIniNG enD aT 2.30pm... FreaKinG hEll!! dON nEEd To tRaiN Le lOR!
shOt foR 4 EndS... KeEp thE boW anD dO maINtanAnCE... PAcK anD wEnT tO CWP tO hVaE mY RouNd 2 BreAkfAst + lUncH toGEthEr...
DeN mY eX shOw Me aTTituDe afTEr i toLd hiM thAT i gOinG ouT wiTh mY frIEnDs anD noT meEtinG hiM anYMoRe... [ u ArE mY EX aLreaDy... sHowInG mE aTTiTudE woN aFFeCt mE bTw ]

AftEr LunCh... wEnT tO bEaCh RoaD... i BoUghT a bAcKpaCk foR $30... quiTe niCe deSigN...
bUt afTeR thAt FouNd oUt thaT thE baG iS iMitAtioN... FaKe ONe...
bUt haiZ... BouGHt aLReaDy... i LikE iT cAN liAo...
hMMm... nOthInG mUch afTer thAt... sO wAlk To BugiS juSt tO waSte tiMe...
sAw a HusKeY aT buGis... sO cOOl lAH!

dEn reAch HoMe... soMehoW quArrEl wiTh mUm agAin... abOUt biKe...
sO i ToLd hEr thAT i'M nOt goIng tO bUy anYmoRe...
bUt shE cONtiNue tO taLk woR! dEn taLk abT hoW uNtRuStAble a FriEnD caN bE...
sO i eXplaiN tO hEr whY i TruSt tHiS fRienD... hE iS thE oNe wHo gEt mE thE cuRRenT lAptOp thAt i'm uSing...
thiS liNk tO mY lAPtoP... dEn mY mUm "faN jIu zhAng"...
saYinG hoW muCh i hAd loSt whEn i chaNgE mY lAPtOp... saYinG hoW stUpiD i'M...
sO i TrY tO eXplaiN tO hEr thAt i"ll loSe mOrE iF cONtiNuE tO uSe thE PreVioUs lapTop coS iT iS sEriouSly suX...
wAh... eXplAiN stuFF tO hEr LiaO... shE sTilL dON geT iT...
NVm lOr...i diaM diAm... aGreE tO evErythInG tAt shE saId...
bUt thIS tiMe roUNd shE saY "tAlk To u dAmN harD tO gEt thINgs iNtO uR minD lEh"
waH...! eXplaiN stuFF tO hEr deN i stUbboRn lah, agReE tO hEr dEn i'M likE woODeN bloCk
haiZ... nOthINg elSe tO saY... juSt shUt HEr uP bY saYiNg thAT i'M nOt goIng To puRchAse biKe anYmoRE...