UrGh!!!
caN anYonE expLaiN tO mE whAt iS iT thAt i"m GoiNg thRouGh riGht NOw?!?
i FeeL emPtiNeSs AlthOuGh ThEre aRe ManY thIngs ruNNinG thRouGh iN mY miNd...
ManY tHinGs ARe ruNNinG thRouGh mY minD buT thEre aRe No DireCtiON teLLinG mE whEre i"m heaDinG tO...
i'M FeeLinG cLaM buT SoMehoW a SuppResSed eMotiOn iS hiDinG iNsiDe mE...
i FeeL LonliNesS bUt i See PeoPLe aRe thEre fOr mE...
hAvE u BeeN thRoUgh sUch thInGs bEfoRe???

i WaNNa CrY bUt thEre iS No TeaRs...
i waNNa LauGh bUt i HavE NotHinG tO laUgh aT...
juSt siMplY StrUck aT NoWheRe... =\

MaYbE i sHOulD trY laUghinG aT mYselF FoR thE meSS thAt i'Ve maDe...
iS iT a mEss? i doNNo...
i MaDe DeciSioN beFoRe i cOulD thiNk...thAt's whAt i FouNd oUt TodAy...
lEt RecaLL:
Mr TanG pRomiSed tO giVe mE a RisEr iF i tOOk paRt iN seMbaWaNg OpEn anD wiN agAinSt thE thAilaNd CompEtitOr...
thE RisEr haD aRRivEd, buT iT iS thE laSt piEcE iN thE woRld...

i ForsAke whAt iS RiGht In fRonT oF mE tO mE anD lEt wEn XuaN haVe iT...
i HavEn TeLL mR tAnG mY deCisIoN yEt... sO i DoNNo hOw wOulD hE ReaCt iF hE kNows AbouT iT... i'M pRettY suRe thAt tHe AmT oF truSt hE puT iN mE wiLL DrOp trEmEnDouSlY...
nOt OnlY thAt... i eVen hElpeD WeN xuAn bY CaLLinG mAnY ppL uP juSt tO aSk aBouT thE priCe oF thIs anD thAt oF thE bOw...

weLL... iT's TruE thAt ThE BoW DoEsn"t BeloNg tO mE riGht FrOm thE stArt... ShouLdn'T aT aLL...
i wiLL NoT bE a Gd OwNer... i wiLL noT bE a gD aRcHer ToO...
i'M nOt a Gd SenIoR aS i"m UnaBle To pRoduCe aNy ouTstAndinG jUnioRs tO wiN ComPetitON ToGethEr wiF mE...
whAt fOr mE hoLdinG onTo thE neW boW iF i"m plAnniNg tO leAvE thE clUb sOOneR oR laTer... i nEEd JoB... i nEed MonEy...
bUt
caN i lEaVe?? wiLL i Be aBle To leaVe?

i dOnNo WHY i"m sTiLL iN thIs CluB...
fOr MeMoRies?
FoR frieNds?
fOr paSSioN?
foR mYselF?
caN anYonE teLL mE pleAsE...?

okAy... lEt TaLK abouT thE nexT daY evEnts:
SemBaWaNG ArchERy oPEn 2008 (24 - 25 JunE, SAt tO suN)

ThE wHolE tHInG thAt haPPen iN mY liFe goEs liKe thIs:
BaD--> woRse--> hoRRiblE-->dyiNG--> ToP foRm--> DeaD. iN thAt VEry 48Hrs

BaD:
moRniNG waKE uP anD geT mySelF prePaRe foR thE comPetitiOn...
jiO waN tinG doWn tOo... sHe CaN aCComPanY pECk lEnG whiLe Li rONg iS sHootiNg...
hAve MaC's BreaKfaST... sAw mY fRienD whO saY wiLL weNt dowN tO heLp ouT lAtEr oN...
deN CoMpeTiTion stARteD...iN siGhtiNg rouNd...mY foRm iS soMewhERe thErE~
afTer thE 2 rOunDs oF siGhtinG...
i caMe tO reaLise thaT mY foRM is NOT THERE aT aLL...!
AnD i"m ComPeTinG thAilAnD ArChErs!

woRse:
i GoT coNtinuSoUs "M" foR mY laST arrOw FoR 5 enDs...
AnD nEithEr anY oF thE aRRoWs taT LanDeD onTo THe TaRgEt BOaRd iS nEaR 10 pTs...
goT 1 enD, i CoUlDn'T shOT ouT mY lASt aRRoW... sO paIseH bEcoS tHe cOMpetItoR frOm ThaiLanD toT thAt mY aRRoW miSSed thE boArD...All ThE inStruCtoRs whO kNOw Me, waS stuNNeD bY mY FailUre...
i FeeL sO stReSSed OuT tAt i BReaK doWn afTEr thAt vEry enD...
Li RoNg ComE anD tAlk tO mE... buT i juSt CrY NoN-sToP, mY FoRM iS siMplY nOt ThEre At aLL!
aNd i GoT 6 "M" laGGinG BehiNd thE thAilaND aRchErs...
He sAy iT iS tiMe i sHOuLd FoCuS oN mY trAiNiNg thAn TraINinG thOse JuNioRs...
EnD 9 & 10: i ManAgE tO geT baCK soMe foRm... bUt iT's Too lAte aLreADy...ThE sKy staRteD raIninG... ThE oRgaNisEr DisConTinuE thE maTch aND taKe thE ScoRe oF thE fiRst enD. whIcH i doNe sUpEr BAdlY...

HoRRibLe:
aFTeR tHE cOmpEtiTioN... i WeNt DriNkinG wiTh mY TKD frieNds... whiCH wE ProMisEd tO haVE iT laSt wEEk... i haVe tO gO aLthOUgh i"m tiRed aLReaDy...
mAnY ARE laTe... AnD thIs sTuPid FriEnD oF miNe inTroduCed a puB caLL "goSSip"
fiRsT: ThE driNKs aRe oVEr-ChaRged
seConD: ThE GaLs thEre aRe FrM ThAilaNd
sTaRtiNg aRe AlriGHt aS wE haVe fUn oN oUr owN [[blOOdy heLL, i GaNNa TekaN]]... unTil thEre iS VIP seaTs anD wE moVed oVer ThEre tO siT...
thAt iS WhEn OnE oF thE gaL HooK uP oN mE anD aSK whAt iS mY nAmE...
DeN chaT chaT wiTh mE deN GiVe mE a kiSS!!! [[FaiNt]]
deN wE daNce... GrinD hEre GrinD ThEre~ [[DouBle fainT]]
i ThiNk shE tOOk mE aS a ButCh...bEcoS thIs Is whAt i wEaR foR thE niGht...

DyiNg:
BefOre wE leaVe tHe puB... ThEre iS a liVe banD perFormaNCe...
i HeaR a mAn voiCe... BUT... whEn i TurN mY heaD anD loOk aT thE siNger...
iT iS a FemaLe BoDy [[TripLe faiNT]]...
iT waS 2aM... aNd wE haVe suPPer bEfoRe wE HeaD hoMe...
i ReaCh hoMe @ 3aM...
MoThEr QuesTioNeD mE beCos i FoRgoT tO inFoRm hEr thAt i'LL bE hOmE laTe =X
deN KO iMMediaTelY..
haVe diFFiculTy waKinG uP iN thE moRniNg foR mY aRchEry IKO evEnT...
i OnlI goT 2 hR oF slP niA...luCkY i gEt weN xuaN tO moRninG caLL mE...

ToP fOrM:
thE moMenT i ReaCh ThE cOmpE GrounD... Mr taNg waNted Me tO joIn a TeaM eVeNt repReseNtinG SinGapoRe coMpeTe aGainSt MalaYsiA anD thaiLanD...
i'M 20 whiLe mY teAm mAtes iS 11 & 13 Yrs Old...
HOWEVER!!! mY foRm iS baCk sUrpRisinGly!!!
waHaHaha... bUt vEry UnSteAble bEcOS i stiLL haVinG mY haNg oVer~
DuRinG thE IKO... i KiLLeD 2 Thai bUt loSt tO 1 beCos i haVe a "M"... sO i enDeD Up geTTinG 2Nd... (vEry anTi-cliMate i KnOW)

dEn aS foR thE tEaM eVeNt... wE wOn...! thE thAi gOt 4 "M" iN teAm eVenT... whIcH i DoNNo whY... Mr TanG saY i puTTiNg tOO muCh pResSuRe On thEm whEn i"m aT mY toP foRm...
Oh Ya Oh yA...
i gOt 1 ArroW whIcH i shOt ouT @ 0.01 seC DuRinG thE teAm evEnt... deN whEn i TuRn baCk aNd waLk BaCK tO thE eQuipMenT Line... i sAw sOme faCes whIch iS liKe:
(O.o!) & (*.*) & (X_x)

oNe woRd tO explAin Me --> shAg!!
MonDay nV wEnt To sCh foR stuDy... i neeD tO caTcH baCk mY slEEp...
buT noW, i"m sTill VerY DeaD~

ErM... mE... EaTinG CakeS whEn i"m suPPoSe tO bE oN DieT

thE 4 GirLs thAt weNt tO tHe eVeNt

i dOnnO whY i uPloAd ThiS... BuT iT lOOk NiCe tO mE

[lEft tO riGht] 1sT roW: loGisTiC1, Vice-PresiDenT, seNioR (me), pResidEnT, LogiStiC 2
2nD roW:SeCretArY, TraiNiNg CorrDinaToR

i LaBeL thIs pIc aS "maX thE DesToRyeR" [ThE oNe beiNg CirCled]

HeRe ComE ThE pResiDeNt oF ArcHerY IG 2008

ThEre iS onE blOOdy VediO whiCh failEd tO bE upLOadEd... i'M sO piSSed oFF bY tAt
iN thIs VedIo... WeN xuAn iS beinG SM bY nAd & mE... DeN JuniOr wEaR mY hiGh heeLs (-.-')

YesTeRdaY... OffiCally HanD oVer ThE coMMitee JoB tO tHe JuniOrs...
ConGraTUlaTiOn..!
aS thEre iS nO mORe ReSpoNsibiLitY... No mOre ObligaTion... No mOre ReaSonS...

uNlesS tHe pAssiOn foR thIs sPOrt sTay On iN uR heArt... aNyonE iS wElcoMe tO CoMe BaCk aND sHooT... ThE dOOr Of ArcHEry IG iS alwAys oPen...

BeinG tHe suCkiesT CoMMitee oF aRchEry iG iN yR 07/08...
sO mAny thiNgs haPPeneD... thIs cOmmiTTee iS a FaiLuRe riGht FrM thE sTarT...
NoThinG mUch To Feel ProuD aT aLL...
juSt hOpE thAt tHe JunIoRs wiLL noT rePeaT thE fOOtsteP oF ThE PreViOus coMMittee wiLL dO...

thEre iS nO wAy tO TuRn baCk tHe tiMe...
mE & yOu JuSt HavE tO moVe oN... aNd waLk oUt Of iT ouRselVes...

juSt liKe waLkinG alOng thE seAshOR...
thE TraiL oF fOOtstEp ThAt lEfT bEhinD...
wiLL bE waSh aWaY By thE sEa WavES...
SomE tAke 1 tiMe tO wAsh thE fOoTsteP AwAy... whiLe sOme mAy taKe a Few mOre waSh...
bUt whEn iT's gonE... mEan iT's GoNe... WaLkinG baCkwArd SerVe No PurpOse AlreAdy...

whAt i'M trYinG tO saY iS thAt:
iF eVEry foOtsTep iS paRtS Of MemOriEs...
RmB thAt u hAd WaLk oNce BeFoRe...
SomE sTePs thAt u TaKe mAy stePPed oNto tHE sTonE uNdeRnEath It...
iT mAybE paInFul... u MaY bE stuNNed By thE paIn foR awhilE...
bUt...
whEn u WaLk oUt oF iT... ThaT fOOtstEp [MeMorY] thAt leFt bEhinD... wiLL bE waSh aWaY By thE waVe...
ThE woUnd dEn cAn bE heaL...
iF u RemiaN stUnnEd By ThE paIn... thE sTonE wiLL cONtinUe tO HuRt u...
hOwEvEr...
ThiS dOesN't meaN thAt u wiLL aVoiD waLkinG thE sEashORe aGaIn...
trY waLkiNg iT aGaIn BecoS nO HuMan iS aBle To WaLk ThAT vEry SaMe RouTe wiTh thAt vEry saMe stEps aGaIn...
HoWevEr... ThIS tIme RouNd... U OvErRidE tHe MeMoRiEs oF tHE sAmE SeaShoRe AlReaDy...
wHo knOws... ThE mEmoRies ThAt oVerRiDe iS sO mUcH HaPPieR tHan tHE pReviOuS oNe...
^_^

hAvE beeN trAiniNg haRd foR SemBaWAnG oPeN... ~_~"
bUt i dOn thInk i CaN maKe iT... i CaN't suStaiN haLf FITA oF shOOtinG...(T_T)
StupiD Mr.TanG, i WaNNa siGn aN 2 yEaR IOU wiTh hiM fOr PurchAsiNg aN gooD Bow dE... enDeD uP bEinG foRcE tO Go foR tHe cOmpEtitiOn... sAyinG thAt iF i gEt thE 1sT... i wiLL gEt a FrEE RisEr...

SatUrdAy weNt oUt wiTh mY TKD frieNd...
yeAp... gOinG oUt wiTh thEm meAn thAt i'LL NeVeR bE hoMe eaRly...
WaTch tHe moVie [WhaT haPPen In VegAs] wiTh thEm...pUrpoSeLy bOOk 0005 tiMesloT...
mY 2nD tiMe tO waTch thAt moVie...
hOweVer, thIs tiMe roUnd... fOr No ReAsOn... TeaRs sWell Up mY eyEs...
luCkY nOnE Of mY frieNd sAw iT... =X
RelAtiOnshIp... iS SomEthiNg sO taBoo fOr mE riGht nOw...
QuoTe liKe:
i wiLL rAthEr dO NothiNg anD bE haPPy thAn do sOmetHing I doN luV
iT taKe SomEthiNG tO loSt BeFoRe ReAliSiNg hOw imPoRtanT iT iS
hOw trUe iT is...bUt caN i dO NoThiNg anD bE haPPy??

kinDa clEaR uP mY minD whEn i'M goInG oUt wiTh thEm...
BeCos thErE iS nO reStRicT tO thE waY i bEhaVe...
thErE iS nO ResPonSibiliTy tO caRRy oN mY shOulDer...
nOthiNg aT aLL... i cAn dO thInGs thAt i wAn...
doN haVe tO thiNk abT aRchEry aT aLL...

aRchEry: tHe sOUrcE oF evErythiNg...SaDnesS moStlY...
anD yEt i"m sTayiNg oN... iDoNNo whY... peOplE caN leAve As anD whEn thEy waN... coMe anD gO juSt liKe wiNd... i doNNo whY i caN't bE likE tHem...iT SeeMs LikE thEy haVe leFt mE wiTh No choiCe bUt tO sTay oN...
oK oK! GeT riD oF saD ThoUght!! shOO sHoo shOo~

neXt SaTurDaY maY gO puB... bUt moSt ppL aRe "paNg seH kiA"... alWaYs Fly pIgeoN lAsT miNuTes... sO dOn pUt tOo muCh hoPe iN iT...
BUT I WANNA DRINK...GET HIGH AND GET DRUNK~ >.<
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TheRe iS thIs sOng tAt sTruCk oN mY minD 24/7
a ChinEsE soNg caLL "虽然我愿意"
i liKe thE chOruS... VerY vEry muCh... i DoNNo whY~
bUt iT SeeMs tO ExpReSs mY feelinG aNd mY mOOd...

Kk... tiMe tO slEEp LiaO... Gd nIte

i"m BaCK... tO cOntiNue mY BloG...
LisTen tO sOMe soNgS... deN thE soNg "StraNgEr" seeM tO bE taLkinG abT pEoplE iN mY liFe... ThEreFoRe i pAste tHE lYriC doWn...
dO taKe NotE oF peOplE's EyEs...iT's TruE thE eYes CaN teLLs u ThiNgs...

ThEre aRe EyEs thAT iS coLd aS steeL... moStlY foUnd In LonEr & fiGhtEr...
tHe coLd sTare tHAt cOulD pEnaTrAte thE sOul oF tHe pEopLe whO shE iS lOOkinG aT, coUlD senD chiLL anD feAr inTo thAt perSoN...
ThErE aRe eYes thAt iS SenDinG wArMth To aNyoNe wHo sHe iS lOOkinG aT, cOulD bRinG coLoUr oF ThE woRld iNtO thAt pErsOn..
i bEloNg tO thE fiRsT, SoMe pEoplE whO i KnOW beLoNg tO thE seConD TypE..

"uSed tO... ... whAt a hAbiT..." [QuOte frM a FrieNd oF mIne]
iT's aLreAdy uSeleSs tO thiNk oF thE "uSed tO" iN mY liFe...
kIndA miSs iT... bEcoS iT hAS onCe haPPenEd...
ThEy heLp tO bRinG coLoUrs iN mY liFe... bUt AftEr thAt, thEy aRe goNe... thE coLouRs ThAt thEy bOuGht In, sLOwlY faDe aWay ToO...

hmMm... i"m qUiTe blEss tO haVe smaLL eYes i ThiNK...
tHe wOrld CloSes DoWn whEn i LauGh...
iSn'T goOd NoT tO sEe HoW ChAotiC thE woRld iS...?

i ThiNk PeaCe cOmE aFtEr ChaOs... thEn, thaT iS wheN peOplE reaLLy TreAsuRe thE peAcE aMoNG thE ChAoTiC wOrlD thEy aRe In...

Theres no kindness in your eyes
The way you look at me, it's just not right
I can tell what's going on this time
Theres a stranger in my life

You're not the person that I once knew
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do
Then they would see a stranger too
-Stranger by Hilary Duff-

Can'T taHan ThE liGht FrM mY hP...whEn mY faCe hAs No sMilE...

mY frieNd sAy i LoOk VERY FieRce... >.<

erM... juSt uPloAd tHis piC bEfoRe i loSt iT... mE anD mY FYP maTes

kNow whAt..?
i doNNo hoW tO sMile anD lAugH pRopErlY whEn i'M yoUngeR...
hahA... iS mY frieNd tauGht Me hOw tO whEn i"m iN yEar 1...
sO... i LeaRn HoW tO pUt On SmiLe oN mY faCe anD haVe lAughTer frM thE boTTom oF mY heaRt whEn i'M 18 Yrs olD...
kiNda liFe waStEd foR thE paSt 18 yRs riGht?? =X
HeNce... exPlaiNed mY lOOk...
a LittLe froWn oN mY faCe wiLL maKe mE looK liKe i'M anGry liaO... aNd fiErcE tOo...
i EvEn lOok olDer thAn CIxI whO iS 5 yRs olDEr thAn mE laH!! mY mOthEr's FrieNd coMMenT dE...

weLL... i'M thAnkfuL tO thIS frieNd oF minE whO taUght mE aLL thiS thiNgs... althOugh shE iS nOt wiTh mE anYmoRe... But i LeaRn alOt oF stuFF frM hEr alThouGh shE alwAy fEEl iNferiOr tO hErselF... soMetiMe juST waNNa smAck hEr foR shE alwaYs lOOk doWn oN hErselF...

mY faCe fOrevEr senD ouT wRonG siGnaL tO ppL suRrouNDinG... OnlY sHe iS abLe tO idEntifY iT...

i thiNk... goIng bAcK tO thE emOtioNleSs mE wiLL bE a bEttEr choiCe aS i reaLLy nEed tO nuMb mY heaRt frM thE paiN thaT i stiLL haVe tO enDuRe...
wiLL i bE aBlE tO RetuRn tO tHe YounGer Me wHo dOesN'T feEl aNythiNg At aNytiMe aT aLL..?

hMmm... LooKs liKe thE coNNeCtioN thAt i HaVe FoR thIs FrienDshiP... iS oSo goNe tOo aS u chAngE uR BloG...
soMEtiMes i wOndEr... aRe u ReaDinG mY bloG stiLL...?
iF i weRe tO aSk u uR neW blOg... aRe u wiLLinG tO LeT mE ReaD uR nEw blOg??
[i doNNo] [iT hAs nO anS bEcAusE nO maTTer hOw muCh mY heaRt wAntS mE tO aSk u, i'LL noT oPeN mY moUth aNd AsK]
maYbE thAt nEw blOg oF uRs, nOboDy knOw abT iT aT aLL...

thE oNly thInGs thAt i KnoW iS thAt iF u aRe wiLLinG shAre... u wiLL lEt mE kNoW abT thE neW BloG Of uRs EveNtuaLLy...

aLL i caN dO iS tO cHeCk oUt uR cuRRenT BloG anD sEE whEthEr iS thErE anY uPdaTes iN uR liFe...

Ha Ha...
i doNNo thE feeLinG thAt oVerwhElm mE whEn i kNoW thAt u chaNge uR bloG...
wiErd mE...[slAp mYselF]

i BouGht a nEw WatCh yeStErdaY...
i LosT miNe lAsT sAtuRdAy...
thiS iS thE seConD tiMe thAt i LosT mY waTCh...
FiRsT tiMe iS loSt bY anGelyNn ActuAllY duRinG NUS IndOOr ComPetitiOn... LOlx
seConD tiMe i tHink i loSt iT iN thE sPort ComPleX toiLet...
thEn, i gO anD fiX mY foSSile watCh anD wEaR iT... bUt iT DoeSn'T suiT mE bEcoS iT iS tOo GirLisH lE lAH~
whOa... i TeLL u hOr... ThE feeLinG oF nOt haVinG a pRopEr WaTch iS sO suCkY!
i SeEm tO bE TOTAL loSt iN tiMe... fEEl sO loSt whEn i'M doiNg stuFF aS i cAnnoT KeeP trAck oF tiMe... =\

hMmm... WhEreElSe diD i Go pASt Few dAys....?
lASt WeeK wEnT tO chOmp ChoMp tO eaT... AFtER thAt WeNt tO muStAfA... thE 24hR shOppiNg CenTer iN siNgaPoRe... ThEre gOt nO 25225 sMeLL..
hEnG aR~
wEnt hOmE BEry bEry bErY LaTe alWaYs...
giM weE alWaYs bRinGs mE gO ouT... thAnkS tO hiM... hE alWayS kEep mY minD buSy...
dEn... SaTuRdaY i wEnt To mAlaYsiA wiTh hiM...!! =]
sO hAppY bEcauSE iT iS mY FiRsT tiMe goIng ovErseA wiThoUt mY paRenT...
waHahAh...

i bOUghT a loNg slEevE t-sHiRt & RuNNinG shOrts whiLe hE boUghT a piLLow (-_-")
imAGinE gOinG oVer TheRe anD puRchAse a PiLLoW... deN riDe biKe baCk tO sinGapORe...
wAlau.. i"m HuGGinG thE piLLow lAh whIlE hE riDe...! [faiNT]
i GuEsS i'm ToO tiRe frM goInG ouT tOo OftEn wiTh hiM liaO... alWayS lAck oF sLp
i GoT TeRRibLe hEAdaChe whEn i'M aT mAlAysiA...i enDUre aLL thE waY loR... coS i foRgoT tO bRinG paNAdoL =\
thE wORsT thINg iS... duRinG thE reTurN trIp...i VomITed mY diNNer oUt [DouBle FaINt]
luCkY diDn'T diRtY hIs piLLow... bEcauSe i VomiT iNtO a pLasTic bAg....
buT i thInk i FreAk hiM ouT... bEcoS hE saY i LooK bEry paLe... lolX

a FeW daYS latEr... We WenT tO mUstAfa aGaiN... i waNted tO bUy a CaP, soCks, baTh toWeL..
iN thE enD... i OnlY bUy baTh toWeL... sO thIs sunDaY goiNg doWn tO MalAysiA agaIn... anD seArch FoR thE reSt... suPPosE tO seArch FoR waTch oSo de... bUt i SerioUSly caNNot TahAn wEaRinG thAT foSSilE wAtcH oF miNe... =X